Killing Luke Spencer
by armless-phelan
Summary: Britt and Liz kill half of Port Charles. Why? Because they can.


Liz was on the verge of tears. Normally, Britt wouldn't have cared, but her pregnancy hormones were making her feel sympathic that day.

"What's wrong?" Britt asked as she sidled up next to Liz and offered the closest thing to a friendly smile she could muster after five minutes of hurling in the bathroom.

"Since when do you care?" Liz inquired as she threw her hair over her shoulder as if it were a challenge.

Britt met that challenge and tossed her own hair back and cocked an eyebrow. "Since this thing growing in me made me start feeling emotions."

"That 'thing', as you put it so nicely, is a baby, Dr. Westbourne," Liz lectured.

With an eyeroll, Britt tuned her out and started looking around the Nurses' Station. She saw something tucked under the pile of folders in front of Elizabeth and pulled it out. It was a picture of a little kid.

"That's mine," Liz hissed as she snatched the photo from Britt.

"One of your little bundles of nauseau?" Britt wondered as she glared at her own growing stomach.

"My son, Jake. He would've been 6 now."

"Would have?"

"He died in a car accident," Liz explained as she held the photo to her chest. "It hurts everyday, you know. And his grandfather just goes on like he never existed."

"What's grandpa got to do with the kid?" Britt asked as she fought another wave of nauseau.

"He's the one who killed him," Liz sniffed as she stuck the photo in the pocket of her scrubs. "Hit him with his car and never slowed down."

"You should kill him," Britt suggested with a shrug. "Anyone kills a brat of mine? Axe to the forehead. If I'm feeling generous."

"You can't be serious," Liz blanched.

"Watch me," Britt answered with a sly smile.

GH

Luke Spencer was bored. Without the Haunted Star, he had nothing to do with his time besides think about Laura and he didn't like thinking about Laura. So, he just sat in the chair in the dark living room of his apartment and listened to the rain fall against the window and the heavy strings of classical music wafting from his radio.

There was a knock at the door, and for a moment Luke hoped that it was the Grim Reaper come to take him to his eternal rest.

His bones creaked as he stood up and hobbled to the door. His age was finally starting to get to him, and the old wives' tale of rain making arthritis act up was proving itself true.

"Hello?" Luke greeted as he opened the door.

His greeting was returned with a fist to the gut. The old man doubled over. Something heavy struck him in the back and he collapsed. He could feel something digging into his neck as his door slammed shut. It was a few seconds before he realized it was a high heel.

"You think you can get drunk and kill a little kid?" The woman hissed as she grabbed Luke's hair and lifted his head up. He recognized her as Britt Westbourne, the woman who interrupted the Nurses' Ball. "You think you can rob a mother of her child and suffer no consequences?"

"I suffer more than you'll ever know," Luke gasped.

"Nobody cares about your introspective bull, old man," Britt laughed as she threw Luke into his glass coffee table. It shattered and pieces imbedded themselves in his skin. "I'm going to be a mother soon, you know. And the worst thing that can happen is for a mother to outlive her child. How many children have you stolen from their mothers?"

Britt grabbed a lamp and smashed it over Luke's head. Blood trickled down his face as he began to cry. Britt kicked him in the face before walking into the kitchenette.

"I did some research, you know," Britt said calmly as she turned up the radio. "You have a history of drinking. A lot of drinking. You know, every drop of alcohol kills braincells that will never come back."

She grabbed a bottle of wine from Luke's chiller by the neck. Walking through the carnage, Britt whacked Luke upside the head with the bottle, but it didn't break. She kicked him in the side and rolled him onto his back. Then she straddled his broken body, weighing his weakened arms down with her knees.

"You run a baby down while on a drunken bender, and you keep booze in your house. I'm afraid I can't tolerate that. I need to keep my baby safe, and that won't happen as long as you're around."

Britt popped the cork out of the bottle and it struck Luke in the neck. He struggled to breathe. She punched him in the face and forced him mouth open. She turned the bottle upside down, wine spilling all over his face before forcing it into his mouth.

"Drink up, old man," Britt whispered in Luke's ear as she shoved the bottle further and further into his throat.

GH

Liz was simultaneously horrified and thrilled as Britt regaled her with the tale of Luke Spencer's final moments. She even squealed in delight as Britt played a video on her phone of Luke choking on his own blood.

"He finally took responsibility," Liz smiled deviously.

"Everyone in this town needs to take responsibility for their actions," Britt agreed as she brushed her hair.

Liz had the boys staying with Audrey, so she wasn't worried about them walking on their mother sitting in the living room discussing murder.

"So many of them get away with so awful," Liz said calmly as she picked up a drawing pad and a charcoal pencil.

"What're you drawing?" Britt inquired as she looked over Liz's shoulder.

"I'm not drawing," Liz laughed as tossed her head back. "I'm making a list."

"I love lists," Britt grinned as resumed brushing her hair.

GH

Sam scrambled through her penthouse looking for her son. She'd only set him down half an hour earlier on the windowsill so she could apply her medicated ointment.

When she saw the door was open, she shut it so Danny wouldn't wander out in the hall. Or roll. Whatever it was babies did. She nearly screamed when she saw Elizabeth Webber standing behind the door holding her son.

"What are you doing here?!" Sam cried out as she ran to Liz. Liz lifted a leg and kicked Sam in the chest, knocking her on her back.

"Remember that time you sent men with guns to terrorize me and my sons?" Liz asked as she spat on Sam. "Karma is a bitch."

"But I'm a bigger one," Britt announced cheerfully as she walked down the stairs.

"I'm not scared of you," Sam cried defiantly as she scrambled to her feet. "I know how to take care of myself."

"But you don't know how to take care of a baby. What kind of dumb bitch uses a planter as a cradle?" Liz snorted as she kissed Danny's head. "Wow, his skull is kind of soft. He should probably wear a helmet for his own safety."

"Watch your mouth!" Sam warned as she charged as Liz. Unfortunately for her, Britt snatched her hair she could within a foot of Liz.

Britt kicked Sam in the back of the knee and slammed her face into the wall. Liz just calmly held Danny as Britt threw Sam over the back of the sofa. With minimal effort, Britt walked around the sofa and stomped on Sam's neck.

"Would you like the final honours?" Britt asked as she crushed Sam's windpipe.

"I would be delighted," Liz accepted. She sat Danny in his playpen and walked over to the window Sam had left open. She stuck her head out and smelled the air. It reaked of garbage and pavement.

Britt dragged a half-conscious Sam over to Liz. Casually, Liz slashed Sam's throat open with a nail file before kicking her out the open window.

"Now what do we do with that?" Britt wondered as she looked as Danny peeling paint chips off the wall and putting them in his mouth.

"We'll just drop him off on Mac Scorpio's doorstep. He raises everyone else's kids."

GH

It was Britt's turn to take out someone on her shit list. She just happened to get lucky that Liz hated her as well.

"Her wallpaper is hideous," Liz commented as she pushed open the front door. "This bitch is too stupid to lock her door. Half this town is, to be honest."

"Of course it is. Haven't you seen her tacky ass roots?" Britt smirked as she closed the door. "Ellie is out of town at some nerd convention, so we don't need to worry about her."

"Good, I actually like Ellie," Liz said as she scoped the apartment out. It seemed as though Maxie wasn't home. "Do we just wait for her?"

"It won't be a long wait. Showtime is having a marathon of the Barbershop movies and you know this bitch likes to think she's high fashion, but she's really ghetto trash."

"You two trying to jump the pregnant girl?" Maxie asked as she walked out of the bathroom. "And excuse you, but Beauty Shop is a cinematic masterpiece. Also, I'm not alone."

Spinelli followed Maxie out of the bathroom looking slightly perturbed.

"Why was he in the bathroom with you?" Britt looked disgusted. "I mean, I'm into some kinky stuff, but that's just nasty."

"Why are you in my apartment?" Maxie demanded in a high-pitched squeal.

"I want the whiny little bitch," Britt said to Liz as she cracked her knuckles.

"Spinelli's all yours, then," Liz replied as she ran at Maxie.

"I really need to get better at clarifying things," Britt sighed as she strolled over to Spinelli. She grabbed him by the throat and smacked him with the back of her free hand. "Pussy ass bitch."

Spinelli offered little resistance, which bored Britt. She smashed a laptop over his head and kicked him in the crotch. As he collapsed into the fetal position, she turned the stove on and lit a dishtowel on fire. She tossed it on the sofa and yelled at Liz to hurry it up.

"Ugh, fine, but I was having so much fun," Liz replied as she poured a bottle of bleach on Maxie's head. She pushed Maxie onto the burning couch and pouted. "Poo, I was hoping bleach was flammable."

"Happy now?" Britt asked as she broke a bottle of vodka over Maxie's head. Maxie started screaming as the alcohol caught fire.

"Mostly," Liz answered as she grabbed an umbrella and stabbed Maxie in the eye with the pointy end. Then she popped it open and pushed Maxie back on the couch. "Now I'm happy."

"One last stop for the night, Girlfriend!" Britt cheered as she repeatedly stabbed Spinelli with a butcher knife.

GH

"I still don't get why I can't kill Emma," Britt whined as they busted open the back door. "She's so annoying!"

"We can't kill her because Anna Devane will kick our asses, and Patrick is my best friend," Liz explained for the eighth time that night. "Yeah, she's precocious, but she'll grow out of it."

"She's a vile little cunt," Britt argued as she kicked in the door and strolled into the parlour of the Quartermaine Mansion. "Why are we doing this one, again?"

"He's a punk ass bitch," Liz offered. "He was rude to me for no reason."

"So it's pretty much for no important reason?"

"Pretty much," Liz confirmed.

"Works for me," Tracy said as she turned on the light. Britt braced herself and Liz put up her dukes. "I take it you two are here to kill AJ?"

"We have nothing to say to you!" Britt shouted.

"Oh, shut up," Tracy laughed. "He's upstairs, third room on the right. I'll be in his mother's room down the hall."

Tracy held up a large butcher knife and giggled as she walked out of the room.

"She is so copying what I did to Spinelli," Britt complained to Liz. "How are we doing this?"

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Liz said as she held up a bag from McDonalds in one hand and a bottle of cyanide in the other. "It's creepy how easy it was to get this stuff."

"I know. The people that live in this world," Britt agreed. "How do you know he'll eat it?"

"AJ Quartmaine eats everything he can get his hands on," Liz answered simply as she followed the sound of Tracy's maniacal cackling.


End file.
